What To Consider When Fostering Or Adopting Through Dog Fostering Programs: Our Story

Mimosa and Mai Tai in their crate at Abandoned Pet Rescue

Have you ever fostered a dog? This was my first, and I definitely had reservations. We didn’t really have much time to think it through. Why?

Here’s my story of how two Chihuahua puppy mill rescues came into my life and took it over in one fell swoop. And…what I learned along the way. Crazy, you might think. But, sometimes, life throws you curveballs and with a bit of luck, you make them into home runs.

Most shelters have dog fostering programs, where volunteers fill out an application to foster a dog. The shelter usually handles all health-related issues for the foster and sometimes provides food, as well. Abandoned Pet Rescue, where I volunteer, has a vet who comes in twice a week, so fosters can bring their charges to see her. It’s good to find out exactly what your shelter offers to foster parents, so you’re financially prepared.

What happened with us? It was just a regular day, when I walked into the shelter to walk some dogs…

A First!

Like the picture above, taken on one of those first visits, two adorable, cream-colored Chihuahuas looked up at me from their large crate. One was doing the see me-pet me-take me out dance. The other stared, large eyes searching. They were a daughter and her father, and had just been pulled from the city kill shelter, after being rescued from a breeder/hoarder. The little boy, Mai Tai,  had lived 7 long years at that puppy mill. The little girl, Mimosa,  was about 2, and you could already see that her nipples were larger than normal. I asked if it would be ok to walk them and was told that no one had yet tried and that, more than likely, they had never been walked or felt the grass beneath their feet.

As you may know, puppy mill dogs spend their entire lives in cramped, wire cages, forced to breed over and over again, so we can buy cute puppies (who often come with health issues) in pet stores. Lord knows what these little two endured. No one could get close enough to the boy to touch him, much less put on a leash, because he was petrified of people.  They gave me the ok and the universe must’ve been aligning its forces for what was to come, because I was able to climb into that crate and get a halter on Mai Tai, armed with treats. I knew I wanted to get them onto some nice, lush grass, so I carried them across the street and found our spot. What happened next is something I will never, ever forget.

Albie (Mai Tai) with his happy smile during one of our early walks at the shelter

You know the look of a child in pure ecstasy? It wasn’t like that, at least in the beginning. Mai Tai, frozen in fear, sat like a little statue in the grass for about 10 minutes. Then, all of a sudden, he took a couple of tentative steps, literally jumped up and down (the cutest thing to watch), then started dancing and running in circles of pure glee. I’d never seen such an unfolding of joy. His enormous smile, bright eyes…all,  priceless. Mimosa was happy to be out and about sunning herself, but she was a bit more reserved. We were to find out this girl is anything but reserved.

Anabelle laying in the sun on one of our first walks at the shelter

Finding A Home

So began a routine of regular walks and bonding sessions between me and the Chihuahuas. I’d never thought of myself as a Chi girl; never considered getting a Chihuahua. But, something about these two little souls, whose lives I was helping to change for the better, filled my heart with love and a fierce maternal, protective instinct. I wanted to find these babies a great home and it became my mission.

I connected with my network back in New York City, including friend and colleague, Ada Nieves,  who runs a 1,000-strong Chihuahua Facebook group. I brought a couple of my Couture by Sophie Haute Collars to the shelter, put them on the Chi’s and did an quick photo session, posting those pictures on Facebook pages. And, I created a flyer. I asked permission to change their names to something I thought was more fitting. Mai Tai became Albie (short for Albert), because he was such a stoic little guy, and Mimosa became Anabelle, a name I thought was fit for the princess she seemed.

Activity on Ada’s Facebook page led to an adopter. She was a friend of one of Ada’s network regulars and lived in New Jersey. I was planning a trip to NYC in a couple of weeks, and the shelter was thrilled I’d found someone who was already a Chi mom and seemed like a major dog lover. We had a couple of long conversations, and I was excited by the possibility that this was a great, forever home. The shelter gave me permission to take Ani and Albie up to this woman’s house, and make sure all was ok; home visits are a mandatory part of APR’s adoption process. So, the three of us set off on what would be their first plane ride and their first visit to the Northeast.

Here’s where things got messy…

I won’t go into details, but suffice it to say that when we arrived at this potential adopter’s home, it was clear this wasn’t the right situation for these babies. The experience of going to her house taught me something. If you are taking your foster pup to meet a potential adopter, here’s what to consider:

• do they have other dogs? If yes, find a neutral place, a local park or down the street, where the foster pup can meet them and take a walk. See how they do in that setting. If possible, arrange to do this a couple of times before you bring the foster into their home. Once you do, look for signs of stress – body language showing fear or potential aggression. There are often going to be kinks in the road when introducing a new member to a family, so don’t be discouraged. A friend of mine who is a longtime foster mom and handles the interviewing for adoptions at a shelter, told me, “If you don’t see blood on that first visit, you’re doing good.”
• what is their home like? Is it clean or cluttered? Does it smell? Do you get a feeling that this would be a good environment for a dog to live?
• what is the person like and how do they behave to their own dog(s)? Are they open, warm? Trust your gut. Mine told me no, even though I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. Thank goodness, in the end, I listened to my gut.

You know the song that goes, “It’s Saturday night and I ain’t got nobody….,” well, after I left her house with Ani and Albie, I had two somebodies I didn’t expect for the next week!  I took them to our NYC apartment, where we camped out. It was chilly already in New York, colder than what these nuggets were used to. Sweaters? Food? Wee wee pads (no, not house trained)? Toys, etc. etc.? We made an emergency pet store run to stock up. Luckily, we still had my Sophie’s puppy playpen, which proved invaluable for Albie; Ani learned how to jump over the two foot structure in no time.

Albie in Sophie’s puppy playpen in our NYC apartment

The next week was a whirlwind, as it would be for a NYC pup. The Tompkins Square Park Halloween Parade, a Petco Halloween contest; getting our trusted pet sitter, Alice Downes, on speed dial was a given, but she wasn’t available right away. So, me, Ani and Albie settled down and they seemed very happy in their new digs. Who wouldn’t? They had a spacious apartment to run around in. No barking dogs, no people filing in and out like at the shelter and, certainly, no living in a cramped, filthy cage with the abuse of the puppy mill. Albie quickly transformed from being a very frightened guy to a playful pup, running through the house with a little plush toy hanging from his toothless mouth. He allowed me to put on his sweater and harness for our walks and braved the crazy NYC streets like a champ. Between Alice and I, the Chi’s were well looked after for the week. They even got to participate in their own celebrity photo shoot.

Albie and Ani nestled together in our NYC apt

The Chi’s 15 minutes of fame & what we learned about New York

Anabelle posing in her professional photo shoot, wearing Anthony Rubio Designs.
Photo credit: Yoni Levy

Albie in his Anthony Rubio creation.
Photo credit: Yoni Levy

Pet couturier, Anthony Rubio, met them at the Tompkins Square Park event and volunteered to do a photo shoot in his beautiful designs to help them get adopted. Wow!  They met Anthony’s famous Chi’s, Bogie and Kimba, and donned gorgeous couture for their moment in the spotlight. Those pictures were shared all over, commented on, reshared, but still, no adopters.

In the process, I learned a some things after living with them for a week.

• New York City was too intense an environment for them. After their experiences, they needed more quiet and calm. The noise, crowds (and dirt, when you have a tiny dog) was too much. Ani was too scared to walk outside and they were both quite cold. It’s important to know as much about your foster’s history as possible, and to notice how they respond to new things.
• Ani was a serious resource guarder. If Albie got too close to me, she would viciously attack him.
• Albie lifted his leg everywhere, making it a huge challenge to keep the legs of furniture or corners of couches and chairs clean in an apartment that was on the market to be sold. 🙂
• Even though Ani went after Albie regularly, they still found comfort in each other, one looking for the other in times of stress.

Noticing the little quirks, personality traits, behavior issues in your foster makes you the best person to find the best adopter for them. You can seek someone out who will offer them the best chance at success and communicate their issues to any potential adopters, so there are no surprises, one of the top reasons for returned dogs.

Sunshine, here we come!

On Halloween Day 2015, we flew back to Florida. Bringing them back to the shelter, the cage, noise, stress had been weighing heavily on me for days, until my husband and I talked about it and both agreed. We couldn’t do it. In that moment, we became official foster parents to Ani and Albie.

I introduced them to our dogs away from the house with the help of our Florida pet sitter, Dawn, and we all went on a long walk. So far, so good. I didn’t have the luxury of doing this a couple of times, so we brought them all inside and prayed. What happened surprised us.

Anabelle, at 5 pounds then, became the immediate alpha dog in the household. Eighteen pound Jasper bowed to her will, seriously! But, she also got along with Sophie and Jasper like a house on fire. She and Jasper became rowdy playmates and, in no time, I’d find them sharing a bed or see Ani flirting with him unabashedly, batting her eyelashes, pawing him, wagging her tail. And, he was smitten, too. Sophie would join in the play on the periphery. But that grew, too, to where Ani and Sophie developed their own playtime games, bonded and Ani now sleeps next to Sophie; two female besties. Here’s a video of them playing together; it’s an Ani sandwich! 🙂

Jasper and Ani sun puddling together

Albie was a tougher situation. He was so damaged from years of abuse and he was older, at 7, so he had a scared, nervous energy. The attacks Ani would execute on Albie in New York had a magnified impact in a house with other dogs. Jasper took to reading them as a call to action to protect Ani, and he would pounce on 4 pound Albie, hold him down and yell at him. Terrified, Albie came to fear Jasper. We were heartbroken and afraid for Albie’s safety. Even though we saw that Jasper wouldn’t bite Albie, his weight alone could seriously hurt the little guy. I thought, we have to find a home for Albie fast.

Some tips to help with dog on dog aggression in the home

In the meantime, we quickly learned how to put certain procedures in place to avoid these confrontations. Here’s what we did:

• anytime the dogs were together, we’d place them in separate areas,  so they each had their own space. Even on the couch, they’d settle into their own part of it. Awesome dog trainer, Justin Silver, who I did a weekly Training Tips series with on Bark & Swagger, did a Skype session with us from Los Angeles and taught us some really helpful things. If you don’t allow a dog to “claim” you, by sitting or lying right up against you, then there’s no reason for confrontation with the other dogs, because they aren’t protecting their “claim.” Giving them their own space also helps build confidence in them to be able to be separate from you and fine.
• I started training Ani to sit and stay, the beginning of a structure we had found very helpful for Jasper, also a volatile personality. Training is also a great way to build confidence in a dog. Looking to you for instruction makes them relax. When they’re left to their own devices, dogs often will make bad decisions. Ani acts out like this because she is insecure about getting anything – love, food, treats. Resources were probably very limited where she was and she learned to fight first and ask questions later.
• we started demonstrating to Ani that there was enough love for everyone. While Justin suggested we only show individual attention privately for each dog, we decided to go a different route to communicate to Ani that she could be loved at the same time Jasper or Sophie or Albie would be receiving love. It seems to be working. Ani is slowly settling into being part of a family.

Probably one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned, which began when we adopted Jasper, is this: there will always be bumps in the road and obstacles to overcome when bringing a new dog into the family, whether you have one dog or four. And, like when we first got Jasper, you may feel at times that this is too much and want to give up. The issues will vary. But just about all of them can be overcome with time, love, patience and training/structure. So, don’t give up!:-)

Where are they now?

It’s been two months since my husband and I first picked up Albie and Ani from the shelter for our journey to New York. They have settled in quite a bit, but I know, especially with abused dogs, that it could take a year or more for them to completely settle (it took Jasper about a year and today, he’s like a different dog).

Ani’s resource guarding is much better, but it’s a process that will take some time. Ani has learned to make most of her poops outside (yay!) and Albie is pretty much house trained. We haven’t had an incident of Ani attacking Albie in about 2 weeks, which is great, but Jasper did run over Albie when Jas was in the yard hunting down a noise, and Al wouldn’t go in the back for a day (thank goodness, he was fine and is over it). Now, I am more careful to protect Albie when they’re in the back together and haven’t had another incident. And, one day, Albie decided he didn’t want me to touch him anymore. Getting his belly band and his harness on and off was loads of fun for the week plus that it lasted. Then, he warmed up again and now, all is good. He’s cautious, but cooperative. So please know, severely abused dogs can volley back and forth with their boundaries. It requires a ton of patience I wasn’t always sure I had. But, we did get through.

We’ve taken them to a couple of adoption events. I would come up with excuses for not going to more, some that made a lot of sense to me, like they’re not ready to be adopted; they’re not completely house-trained; Ani hasn’t completely gotten over her resource guarding; Albie hasn’t gotten over his fear of people. But, the truth of the matter was, I was smitten. Those early days of bonding – giving them their first walks, taking them on their first journey, protecting them and hanging out with them (yes, they slept in our bed in New York)…through it all, they became ours. So, at the last adoption event where we took Ani, it was my husband who turned to me and said, “Let’s just adopt them.” And so, we did. And our family of four became six. We must look like the crazy dog people, when we’re out walking, three and three. People smile, some stop to say, “You have your hands full!” And, we do. It is a lot of work. But, you know what? We wouldn’t give these little guys up for the world. We see the dogs they are becoming, and to us, we’ve hit the biggest home run.

UPDATE 2020: It’s been 5 years since I first laid eyes on these two and, at the time, I had no idea how much of a difference they’d make in our lives. Albie grew to be my heart dog; we were inseparable and he’d let me do whatever I needed to to care for him. We lost my little boy last February to an awful, insidious auto immune disease called optic neuritis. We are still heartbroken and miss him terribly.

Ani became the little terror we saw glimpses of back then. She still protects her space (meaning me, mostly) but is also a very happy, playful girl. She is sitting behind me on my chair as I write this, snoozing away.

I’ve learned that Chihuahuas burrow their way into your heart with feist and fury and a whole lot of personality. And, as much as we changed Albie and Ani’s lives and showed them what a loving home felt like, the trust, love and laughter they gave to us seems so much greater, and will resonate for a very long time.

Albie looking oh-so-cute in his sequined Santa hat

Ani in her poinsettia Christmas collar by our tree

Have you fostered a dog? What were your biggest challenges?

Albie and Ani enjoying some sun in our backyard recently